The Char-Broil Trapper

Most guys think that one of the more critical questions to be answered in life is, "Which grill should I buy?" The sad misfortune is that our patriarchal society has failed it's next generation in respect to this quintessential gateway to prime-manhood. The grill is not the problem. The grill is not the answer. No, in fact it's the exact opposite. It's like I always say, "You can paint a turd... but it's still a piece of crap" (I apologize for such harsh wording). You see, the grill will only ever be the paint. It might be shiny, expensive, top shelf paint, but it's still paint on... you know.

The issue at hand is the meat. It's like I should start saying all the time, "The meat makes the meal." It is vital to choose the right kind of meat, select the appropriate cut of meat (according to the occasion), flip and quarter-turn the meat at the proper time, preserve the integrity of the juices within the meat and retrieve the meat from the heat source to prevent over cooking as it stands before eating. I can not say enough about the importance of the meat.

Enough about the meat though. The grill is the pertinent issue we are dealing with at present. Besides, I'm trying to make a point about grills. It is my strong belief and hardened conviction as an American that, the cheaper the grill... the better. Call it what you want - being a cheap-skate, saving money that can be spent on other dinner accessories, sticking it to the man, diminishing your carbon footprint, easing the tension from your last big purchase which did not include your wife's approval or just the gratification that you were able to assemble your new grill by yourself... just like one of the snap tite model cars you had when you were in 3rd grade. Either way, I have the one reason you only need, to be convinced that, the cheaper the grill the greater the thrill.

You see, cheap grills tend to have subtle quirks that are uncommon with the $1,300 models. For instance, the grease/drippings cups do NOT actually catch the drippings. Well, they do... but only 50% of the time. Lo and behold, there within lies the greatest secret of the cheap grill. Those drippings tend to attract certain animals of the "meat" kingdom.

So here is the deal. Just keep doing what you are doing. Grill meat just as you normally would year round. But now, with a cheap grill on your deck (or back stoop) keep your eyes peeled and a gun by the door. You never know when nature's supermarket is having a shopping spree.

Feel free to pass this little nugget along. Not only it is liberating but it's recession proof. Your welcome.

Meal-time Time Saver

Salute to the Turducken

A Turducken is a dish consisting of a partilly de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The thoracic cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are stuffed, sometimes with a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture or sausage meat, although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird.


Farm creates $943.50 multi-bird roast
A Devon farm has concocted a 12-bird roast that takes 10 hours to
cook and can feed up to 125 people.

The roast weighs 55 lbs. and is believed to be one of the biggest multi-bird meals in the country.

Anne Petch, of Heal Farm in Kings Nympton, said they wanted to make a a dish with a "wow factor". The $934.50 creation consists of turkey on the outside, goose, chicken, pheasant, three ducks, poussin, guinea fowl, partridge, pigeon squab and quail. Ms. Petch said the True Love Roast had a bird for each of the 12 days of Christmas. It takes two people to lift.

"Crazy Idea"

"We've been making smaller multi-bird roasts for a while, but I wanted something with a real wow factor." "It was only when I was halfway through the first prototype that I realized what a crazy idea it was." She said they were aiming for a 21-bird roast for the next year. Multi-bird roast are a centuries-old style of cooking that is becoming increasingly popular. The supermarket Waitrose said demand for their $283.00 four-bird roast was up 50% this year.

Poetry in Motion

Poetry in Motion - like a cow running from the farmer or a buck darting through an open field arrayed in orange.

"Man is a carnivorous production,
and must have meals, at least one meal a day;
he cannot live, like woodcocks, upon suction,
but, like the shark and tiger, must have prey..."
- Lord Bryon (1788-1824) Don Juan

Some Haikus:
I love to eat meat
red meat is the best to eat
yummy, yum good meat

It sits on the grill
that delectable burger
I need more napkins

Burger in my mouth
Amazing and heavenly
Wish I could fit more

Meat wonderful food.
Veggies not so fun with bun.
Press meat and bun please.

How tempting is meat?
I hide steak in the basement
And now we all know

Forgive me little
cow, pig and chicken,
soon one of you I'll be picking,
and my lips I'll be licking.
to you I honor,
as I round the restaurant corner.
Before me on my plate,
food you have become,
my delicious mate.
- OnepoetGem

Quote of the day: "Redder is better."

Entree

I know what you're thinking about the dinner I had tonight. That's it? I know what you really mean... "That's it." (like James Bond would say it). Oh yeah, that's it!

What you're looking at is what I had for dinner tonight.


I know you don't see any side dishes. You're probably wondering if I had anything else. Well... I did... MORE home-made stromboli.


Enjoy.

Good Luck My Friend

Just a little encouragement. These guys made it five whole days on a raw vegan diet. It would be inconceivable to think that you could not make it seven.


Good luck buddy.

Oh, For the Love of Meat

I have created this blog from the sheer joy and excitement that I receive from the consumption of meat. This includes raw, rare, medium rare, and whatever comes after medium rare - meats. It also includes a wide range of meat sources such as (but not exclusively): American Bison, Caribou, Cattle, Veal (calves), Yak, Manatee, (Sea Cow), Dog, Fox, Wolf, Domestic Cat, Tiger, Lion, Horse, Donkey, Zebra, Hare, Pike, Rabbit, Kangaroo, Koala, Opossum, Wallaby, Lamb, Domestic Sheep, Bighorn Sheep, Domestic Goat, Ibex, Wild goat, Barbary sheep, Dall Sheep, Mountain Goat, Domestic pig, Peccary, Wild board, Red river Hog, Bushpig, Caribou (reindeer) Deer, Moose, Antelope, Giraffe, Red, deer, Gorilla, Orangutan, Chimpanzee, bonobo, Monkey, Beaver, Guinea Pig, Capybara, Muskrat, Rat, Squirrel, Great Cane Rat, Paca, Nutria, Groundhog, Whale, Dolphin, Walrus, Earless seal, Eared seal, Bear, Elephants, Raccoon, Rhinoceros, Weasel, Camel, Chicken, Duck, Goose, Turkey, Dove, New World quail, Ostrich, Emu, Guineafowl, Pheasant, Grouse, Partridge, Crow, Quail, Pigeon, Woodcock, Ptarmigan, Turtle, Lizard, Snake, Iguana, Crocodile, Alligator, Frog, Salamander, Toad, Anchovy, Basa, Bass, Catfish, Carp, Cod, Crappie, Eel, Flounder, Fugu, Grouper, Haddock, Halibut, Herring, Kingfish, Mackerel, Mahi Mahi, Marlin, Orange Roughy, Perch, Pike, Pollock, Salmon, Sardine, Shark, Snapper, Sole, Swordfish, Tilapia, Trout, Tuna, Walleye, Chilean sea urchin, Grasshoppers, Ants, Bees, Cockroaches, Beetles, Jumiles, Grubs, Caterpillars, Maguey worm, Crab, Crayfish, Lobster, Prawn, Shrimp, Spiders, Scorpions, Abalone, Clam, Conch, Loco, Mussel, Oyster, Scallop, Snail, Cuttlefish, Octopus and Squid.

This blog is an outpouring of my gratitude towards all creatures big and small that can be grilled or cooked over an open campfire flame. This blog is not the end to a means, so... I'm not sure how long it will last.

I will try to add more pictures to enhance the visual stimulation of this blog which is currently overborn by its literary and lyrical stimulation.

Quote of the Day: "There's nothing but TEAM in meat. Go Team!"